A few months ago, a lady behind me was leading us in prayer, and for a heart-stopping 15 seconds I thought she said that we Christians “live according to Fate.” What in the world…? Then I realized that with her accent the “th” sound comes out as “t” – ah, that’s better, she said that we live according to faith. Phew. One the truth, the other not, and just one letter separating them.

Two philosophies vie for our attention. One is Fatalism, the belief in Fate: qué será, será, whatever will be, will be.

And so, for example, a girl asks, Will this boy like me? and her friend answers, “Well, I say that if it’s meant to be, then it’ll happen.” Into this category of Fate we can also throw other odds and ends: astrology, Mayan Calendars, Nostradamus. But some Christians view the world that way: “If it’s God’s will, it’ll happen, if it’s not, it won’t, so relax, what will be, will be.” Listen, I believe in the Sovereign God, but we sometimes act as if “God’s Will” is binding on God himself. “God cannot act contrary to his will,” to be sure; but that doesn’t mean that his will is a straitjacket.[1] Part of this error is the idea that prayer does not change things, but only changes the attitude of the pray-er to accept what would have happened anyway. More about prayer later.

The equal and opposite philosophy: “My future is not mapped out, I’m the one who decides how I’ll turn out. I am free to choose, and I am the sum of my choices. I have the power within me to create the person I want to be, free from outside compulsion.” Let’s put the Oprah Book Club favorite, Rhonda Byrne’s The Secret, in this group. Thus, when the successful businessman is congratulated on his luck in business, he retorts, “I believe we create our own luck.” This philosophy of construction sounds reasonable to the person who has enough to eat, a roof over their head and has no threatening disease. It makes little sense for people driven from their homes by drought, living as refugees.

The Christian message includes a Sovereign God, but rejects Fate; it teaches the importance of individual decisions, but denies that we create our selves. The gospel way is “faith,” that is, placing less and less confidence in our ability and more trust in a merciful and kind God to guide us. It tells us that when we pray, we speak with the Most Free and Sovereign God, who in love and power can hear and respond to our prayers.

When Paul talked about his prayer life, he showed how a Christian turns to God in faith: “We constantly pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may bring to fruition your every desire for goodness and your every deed prompted by faith” (2 Thess 1:11). That’s how we should pray about ourselves, and for people around us, knowing that there is a God who can and will change things as we ask him to.

Live by Fate? Live by our own decisions? There lie different, but equally unsatisfying, dead ends. Trusting in God is the way of life.

NOTE:

[1] In ancient philosophy, God/the gods themselves were bound by Fate. They had a limited measure of movement within Fate, but in the end they could not resist it. Fatalism is sometimes confused with “Calvinism,” but in fact the two are poles apart. When Calvin was called a Fatalist, and he shot back that he was nothing of the sort: Fate “is a necessity springing out of a changeable and complicated labyrinth, and binding in some measure God himself. Instructed by the Scriptures, I define predestination as the free counsel of God, by which he regulates the human race, and all the individual parts of the universe, according to his own immense wisdom, and incomprehensible justice.” John Calvin, On Secret Providence (trans. John Lillie; New York: Robert Carter, 1840), xi–xii.

“The Just shall Live BY FATE?” by Gary Shogren, Seminario ESEPA, San Jose, Costa Rica

In mid-year, I took over a position which I used to have in ESEPA, Director of Graduate Studies. Our three masters degrees are highly demanding: for example, they have to have a solid background in Bible, theology and Christian ministry, plus a working knowledge of Greek or Hebrew, plus an ability to read English. This new job requires a fair amount of administrative work, for example, which classes shall we offer, who will teach them and when. But the part that really excites me is that it involves working with people. Our students usually are studying to be teachers or writers in the Latin American church, and we attract people who are intellectually gifted as well as committed to the Lord and his church. My job is to guide them academically, but I also spend time advising and mentoring the thirty or so men and women.

Much of my ministry this year has involved research and writing. I’m now looking through the final version of a commentary on the Greek text of 1-2 Thessalonians for Zondervan, and getting ready to send my 1 Corinthians commentary to my new Spanish publisher, CLIE.

A verse from 1 Corinthians that has meant a lot to me is, “So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth” (1 Cor 3:7). We each have our task in the church of God, but through it all, the hero of the story is God, who works through the Spirit to make us like Christ. May God grant you that focus in the New Year.

Let’s see: in 2011, I became a teacher at ESEPA, where I offer courses in Bible and counseling at the certificate level. I started a study group in a hairdresser’s salon, where Christian and non-Christian ladies learn methods of studying the Bible. And finally, I still work with Missionary Kids and their parents, helping them adjust to life on a foreign field.

When we returned to Costa Rica October 2010, after spending some months with the family in the US, it was one of the few times in my life when I felt like I was truly starting over. It was agony for me to leave all of our family behind in the US, and return here without them. I felt like a stranger in my own home, and nearly all of my former ministries (including ministering to my own children) were no longer available to consume my life 24/7. It took months for me to grieve and get used to all the losses, work through the issue of contentment, and get to know my own house again. I found myself with nearly a blank slate of a life stretching in front of me: an empty calendar with no commitments, no schedule, no job, and lots of empty days.

I had no misconceptions that it would stay like that for long; I knew God would have plenty for me to do, and would bring it to me when I was ready. But first, God had some work to do in my own heart. Faced with an unhurried and unstructured life (for the first time in a veeeeeeery long time), I realized that over the years I had fallen into the trap of linking my identity to what I do: I was a wife, a mom, a teacher, a counselor, etc. Anyone who has taken care of children even for a few hours understands how all-consuming it can be; now God was reminding me that Karen isn’t what she DOES, she’s a unique person that God created for His own purposes. So who was she?

I’ve already shared with you much of the story of God’s leading and provision of new ministries/jobs. Plus, I’ve had to improve my Spanish (both oral and written), prepare my Bible study lessons and my classes, and come to terms with technology. Yet I already feel very at home in the opportunities God has provided. In a very short time God has let me serve many women in a very personal way. It has been a giant leap forward!

So how has it also been a giant leap back? Because now I am busy full-time in what I have dreamed of doing since my teen years. And as I am rediscovering who God created me to be, I realize that He put those dreams in my heart right at the beginning! As I spend my days in Bible study getting ready for my inductive classes, God suddenly reminds me of an afternoon when I was 17. I had been accepted at Philadelphia College of the Bible (now PBU), and I couldn’t believe how wonderful it was going be to have all that time to immerse myself in Bible study. Here I am 36 years later, and apparently for the forseeable future my “job” will be to spend a lot of time studying the Bible and teaching others how to do it! And as I am studying like crazy to get ready to teach my class in biblical counseling, I remember another day during my high school years when I had just been to a counseling workshop – I thought that the best thing in the world would be helping people work through their problems from a biblical perspective. And here I am, teaching others how to do it! Back to the future!

Heavenly Father, I am so grateful for your work in my life, so grateful that you put these desires in my heart many years ago, so that now you can fulfill those desires while you use me to further your Kingdom. And so grateful that your plan is always best!

Steve is having a blast with his new programming job at AWE in Chester. He loves the challenges and the work environment. He just wrapped up a teaching weekly Bible study on Thursday evenings at their church (The Foundry in Garden City/Wallingford). Sara was blessed with a new job writing technical manuals at Boeing Ridley Park, in an office (that means climate control, of which there wasn’t much on the Chinook assembly floor) and most importantly, working first shift. She and Steve are thrilled that after 4½ years of marriage, their work schedules are finally in synch!

Tim is very happy as assistant manager of the Corporate Sales department at Pep Boys in Broomall. We’re all happy that finally he can put his innate salesmanship skills to good use! In October, he and Ariel celebrated their one-year wedding anniversary with the news that Ariel had just been offered a full-time job in the quality control departmet of AWE (where Steve also works). They live in an apartment in Ridley Park with their beloved pets. We are so proud that their first year brought them closer together and taught them a lot, and that now they can enjoy some normalcy!

Ben and Stephanie have spent their first 4 months as a married couple studying hard at Eastern University. Ben has only one semester left to complete his college degree, and they are hoping to spend it studying abroad in Hong Kong. (A semester abroad is a mandatory requirement in their program at Eastern’s Templeton Honors College). If their visas come through, they will leave shortly after Christmas and return before the summer. In the meantime, they have been living in the “Torbett/Shogren compound” in Aston, PA. We are so proud that they are working hard to finish their college education, even though it requires a lot of sacrifices for a newly married couple.

Vikky is finishing up her 3rd semester at Delaware County Community College as a member of Phi Theta Kappa, the International Honor Society. She wants to pursue a degree in Physical Therapy and has applied to a wide variety of college programs. While she is waiting on God’s guidance in this, she is fulfilling requirements of PT volunteer hours in a local hospital. She is working faithfully in her church, and has applied for a scholarship from the Southern Baptist denomination for her continued education. She has now been at her job at Cosi Restaurant in Concordville for more than a year and a half. We are so proud that she has stayed the course both in school and at work!

From what we can glean in 1 and 2 Corinthians, that church wanted a different breed of apostle:

Church at Corinth, Achaia

Wanted: an apostle with style

The church in Corinth is seeking applicants for the position of apostle. We wish to avoid leaders who do not measure up to the highest standards of Christian ministry. Hence we insist that all candidates fulfill the following conditions:

Professional demeanor

• We want a man who holds his head high, not one with a slavish attitude of “service.” We want to show the appeal of the gospel for people with ambition.
• He should own a vehicle; travel by foot gives the impression that one is a loser.

For the rest of the story, go to http://justinofnablus.com/2011/11/01/dear-paul-we-are-sorry-but-you-are-unqualified-to-be-our-apostle%e2%80%a6-studies-in-1-corinthians/

In very general terms, I become involved in the lives of the people around me in whichever way I can serve as God’s hands and feet in this imperfect world. I am learning that the emphasis must be on the people around me, not on the tasks. For example, there’s Marta. She ministers in the local women’s prison. She was so energized by my Inductive Bible Study course that she wanted others to hear. And so she called on Wednesday to ask if I would be willing to show her co-workers how to study the Bible properly. And would I be able to start on Saturday morning?

Where I grew up, we learned to focus on our tasks. I liked to measure progress by how many items I could check off my “Things to Do” list, and was especially pleased if the jobs were easily measurable. Yes, I did finish all the ironing. What a great sense of accomplishment to cross that off! The longer I spend in missions, the more I see that the most significant things we do to serve others often don’t make it to a list, and if they did, they could almost never be checked off. For example, when a friend shows up unexpectedly at the door with chest pain, I jump into the taxi to go to the hospital with her, and we return home hours later with a provisional diagnosis and instructions for further testing. No time to write down “help Sally because she thinks she’s having a heart attack,” and even if I’d written it down, how would I know when the job was completed? After the trip to the hospital? After a follow-up phone call about the test results? A month later when we were still trying to figure out how to lighten the load of stress that was causing the pain? A year later when the pain changes to a different kind of pain?

Instead of “tasks” I’ve started thinking of my list in terms of people. For instance, there’s a long list of people around the world who have at some point been deeply involved in my life, and I in theirs, yet now we live far apart; it’s hard to stay connected over long distances and long periods of time. We want to, but we just don’t have the time it takes to share all the details and we have different responsibilities for now; we have to be content with the short visits God provides us together from time to time. So, to those of you who are reading this now, please know that I love and miss you just as much as ever, and I eagerly look forward to an eternity together without the constraints of time and distance!

At the other end of the spectrum is the list of people that God has put in my life now in Costa Rica. I couldn’t begin to imagine what will come up in the next few months as become more involved in their lives. But if you’d like to hear some stories about the LAST few months, just read on! Maria (all names have been changed): This is one of the students in the classes I teach at ESEPA seminary.

Maria is about 60 years old, graduated from elementary school, has never before spoken in public, and wants to learn about the Bible. She doesn’t know what I mean when I ask her to write an “outline,” and is way outside her comfort zone to take classes in the Certificate of Women’s Ministry program. Here she is being challenged to begin a planned program to read through the Bible in a year, and she convinces her husband to do it with her. She has passed all 8 courses so far, and expects to finish the program early in December, in time to graduate with all the other students from ESEPA. She wants to get together with me beginning in January to keep practicing the inductive Bible study skills she learned in class.

Laura: This is another of my students who lives about a 5-hour bus ride away. At 4 months pregnant, every week she leaves her 2-year-old with her husband the day before class, takes the public bus into San Jose, spends the night in someone’s guest room, goes to class the next day, and in the afternoon returns home by bus. She missed one week when she was very ill, so we made up the work after class the next week. But other than that, she has doggedly kept up with the schedule, her homework, and her family, because she is determined to graduate with the class. I was able to help her keep up after her missed class, so that she could pass the course and graduate on time.

Mau: This student came up to me the last week of my class Inductive Bible Study, nearly in tears. She said that she’d been praying for years for God to let her learn how to study the Bible for herself. Here was the last class, and she knew she had far to go in getting the skills down. She couldn’t bear to think that her opportunity was over, and she still wouldn’t be able to study the Bible on her own. When I offered to get together with her and the other students as often as they needed, they all wanted to sign up.

Elena: This young woman showed up on our doorstep in February, led there by God, looking for help. Over the months that help has taken many different forms and has usually been unexpected: a late-night emergency room visit, creating business cards for a new business, cooking lessons, crying together, laughing together, cleaning the house, a bed for a night, seminary classes, hugs, reprimands, visiting her church, Bible study, prayer, food, budgeting lessons, and connecting her to godly Costa Rican women.

The Honduras team: several months ago I was asked to run a retreat for the Missionary Kids (MKs). When it seemed an impossible task to find the people and resources to do that, I remembered a new friend that God had recently brought into my life during our home assignment. When I got in touch with her, she and her family were excited to be able to be involved. Two other new friends also came to help us, along with our daughter Vikky. As I write this, we are in a fellow missionary’s home preparing for the drive up to the retreat center tomorrow. God has brought me back into contact with missionary friends from some years ago, and it looks like He might have some long-term plans for us to work together (somehow!) on MK ministries. I know that there are more missionary friends who I’ll see at the retreat, more sharing sessions over meals, more late nights sharing what God has done, is doing, will do. More chances to encourage each other to hang in there, trust God’s plan even when it doesn’t match our plan. We will all leave enriched, strengthened, glowing with the memory of being in the presence of God while He worked miracles in the lives of someone else. Even better, filled with the humbled joy that comes from being the arms and feet that God chose to use while doing His work. And with a renewed hunger to always be nearby to watch while He works His miracles.

All teaching and meetings are in Spanish, so I have to push myself physically and mentally. I leave home at 7am. Part of my routine is a morning walk, so the 40 minutes between home and ESEPA accomplishes several things: my exercise for Tuesday; getting the heart and lungs and brain moving; and it’s my time to pray. I pray for all the things that Christians pray for, and especially for my morning class. Today I’ll teach the Epistle to the Hebrews for three hours. See here for a quick video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nLSvFtfVKc&feature=youtube_gdata

I get a coffee and enter the classroom with cheerful greetings and then with an “¡Ay no!” as I break out the quiz. Hebrews is a new course for me. We use F. F. Bruce’s sturdy commentary as our text. This coming week we will study chapter 3, where the author uses Psalm 95 to warn against apostasy. We’ll work as one group. Then they will break into small groups to discuss some aspects of sin in the Old Covenant and how it applies to Christians. In this class they also have to do a Field Project: one man, for example, will visit the local synagogue to interview the rabbi about Jewish worship in the 21st century.

In the middle of Hebrews we gather together for 15 minutes, for a short Bible study and prayer led by a professor or one of the students. The students pray for issues that all of us face, but in this country that might include violent crime, poverty and serious family problems.

Then we go for our coffee break in ESEPA’s “soda”, which is the word for a lunch counter. The manager Dámaris whips up plenty of coffee, plus gallo pinto (rice and beans) and fried eggs, tortillas and cheese and meat turnovers.

Ah, have I mentioned coffee? Costa Rican beans are world-class, and they brew it up strong! It’s not as powerful as Turkish or Cuban coffee, but it comes out quite black. It’s the other thing besides exercise that keeps my blood moving during a long day. Two cups to get me going during Hebrews, another couple before my late class and then another one half-way through the evening.

After the break, it’s another hour or so of Hebrews.

Throughout the day, the principal enemy is fatigue. I don’t want my students to have a drowsy professor. We had a history teacher in high school; if his former students remember anything about him, it was his unfortunate nickname “Sleepy Pete”. For a person working in another language, there is a much worse problem: with fatigue it is more and more doubtful that I’ll be able to speak in proper Spanish. I prayed in the morning specifically about this, and pray during the day too. Usually if I’ve gotten to bed properly the night before, aided with lots of coffee and physical motion and prayer, three hours in the morning and I come out still speaking español.

Teaching in a second language is like running in knee-deep mud.

It’s Round Two where I’ll face the bigger challenger: my evening class. I eat a light lunch and delay supper until I get home; I can’t afford to fill up and get dopey. In the afternoon I might take another walk to try to perk up, or if it’s possible, squeeze in a nap somewhere.

When you teach at ESEPA in the afternoon or evening during rainy season, you have to be ready for an electrical storm and a power outage. Sure, PowerPoint is great, but you might end up teaching by flashlight, so always have a Plan B! On top of that, earthquakes happen every day, usually tremors you can’t feel, but every so often there is one that will get a shriek from the ladies in class.

Gary near the Soda at ESEPA

Tuesday evenings we up the ante, going from bilingual to trilingual. Direct your attention to the center ring, where Gary, an English-speaker, will teach Greek, in Spanish, without a net. I’ve been assigned to Greek I for the first time and have a record ten students in my group. The difficulty here is not just the Spanish. It’s that, to leap from Spanish to Greek one takes a different mental route than when one goes from English to Greek. I have to keep a short list of words that might trip me up: desinencia was one last week, a word I knew (it means “word ending”); but the first time out I mispronounced it. It came out sounding like the Spanish for “dysentery.”

Anyway, it’s closing in on 5pm and time to get ready. Again, much coffee, much splashing of cold water in the face and I enter the class with a cheery “kalespera!” (Greek for “good evening!”). They take their quiz. They ask Don Gary (yes, just like in that movie) or “Profe” (PROH-fay) questions about the homework. Then it’s on to: Tonight we study the genitive and dative cases of the Greek substantive. Two hours, then it’s time for devotions, given by one of the students. Over to Dámaris’ once again for coffee (for me) and food (for them), and back for another hour or so.

Fours hours of Greek: my students have had a long day at work and a commute, and it’s beginning to show. Every once in a while I’ll tell a joke or show them something so they can Amuse and amaze your amigos! I don’t just ask if they understand today’s lesson; I also ask, “How are you feeling? Are we holding it together here?” During the week I’ll also send them an email to encourage them.

We wind up at 9pm. One of the students happens to be going in my direction, so he drops me off at home; it would be dangerous for me to walk to the bus stop this late in the evening. At this point it’s hard to speak English. And, what’s this wonderful thing? Karen has left out a nice supper for me: homemade buffalo chicken sandwiches.

“Gracias, Señor Jesús. This is what I’ve always wanted to do, and by your grace, here I am doing it.” Now let’s eat something, finally, and watch the news before dropping into bed.

Karen is there, as kids become Missionary Kids

“Transition can be defined as the movement of people from one stage of life to another or from one cultural context to another…Families going overseas experience transition every time they leave or enter a country.” (Families on the Move, Marion Knell, p. 47)

October 17, 2010, San Jose, Costa Rica. After a long absence, I walk into my own house as a stranger. My life and work­­ have just abruptly turned a corner. For the first time in 25 years I am no longer the primary caregiver for any of my children. The nest is empty, my Costa Rica ministries had been taken over by others, and my own home is in disarray.

“Even good changes are stressful, and in multiple transitions there is a lot of disorientation, exhaustion and grief.” (Knell, p. 56)

I have spent the better part of the last 11 years studying transitions and what they do to us. I’ve taught this information to countless missionary families and helped them apply it. I have helped hundreds of children of all ages prepare for future transitions and cry through completed ones. I’ve been the counselor; now I’m the counselee.

I take the time to label the simultaneous transitions I’m going through myself, and don’t know whether to laugh in relief (no WONDER I feel so awful!) or cry in despair (I can’t make it through this!). So I do some of each! And I quote to myself all the things I recommend to others to help through the tough times:

• Take your time! Take time to relax, to rest, to have fun!
• Include in your life as many things that are familiar and soothing as you can: favorite music, movies, books, crafts.
• Eat healthy meals and frequent snacks.
• When you get overwhelmed, STOP and rest.
• Trust God’s promises to provide whatever you need and to use everything in your life for your best.

What a joy it is to watch God keep His promises! He does know what I need, and He generously provides it: time to adjust, organize, rest, and cry. It’s even encouraging to realize that all the experience I have with families in transition has been a blessing to me personally – without it, I doubt I could have made it through this intensely difficult time of change. Thank you, Father!

Meanwhile, friends have asked me about my ministry – what will I do now? It seems to be an especially pressing question since my former family responsibilities have waned; nobody wants to think of me sitting home, sad, lonely, and bored, with nothing to do! But when I take a look around, it seems that God has already filled in the gaps I left behind when I left for our extended home assignment. Fortunately, I’ve been through this before! I know that for a missionary, the problem is never that there isn’t enough work to do, it’s being discerning in what God wants us to do (and not do). Experience has taught me that the scope of my ministry will broaden, but for now, I don’t have to know how. I have no doubt that God will show me what to do when it’s the right time. And for once in my life, I welcome the rest that comes with waiting on God!

As He was leading our family overseas, God put Jeremiah 29:11 into the forefront of my mind: “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

That’s a verse I clung to whenever I was nervous about something new (which has been many times in the last 15 years!). And now, in this time of peaceful waiting, God brought along another passage: Ephesians 2:10 – “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” It’s not just that God’s plans are for my good, but His plans are to use me to bless others. It’s time to stop asking: “How will this affect ME?” It’s time to start thinking about the rest of the world.

March 9, 2011. Sitting in our living room, Gary & I enjoy a time of sharing with our Latin America field leaders, Jim & Corinne. As I share my deep love for (and broad experience in) mentoring new missionary families and Missionary Kid education, God begins to pull some of the pieces together. I am in a perfect location to walk alongside WorldVenture families who come to Costa Rica for language school. With excitement we begin to develop a new vision for follow-up with our families after they have left here for their field of service. If there was any doubt that this was clearly God directing, within a few days He provides future opportunities for me to serve missionary families in Brazil, Guatemala, Bolivia, and Honduras!

So here I am, trying to process this. I am thrilled that God is still going to use me in helping families through their adjustments, and excited that it will be broader geographically. In the past, it has been a tremendous blessing to bring friends and teams along to help run Missionary Kid programs in Miami and Costa Rica. Now it looks like we might be able to do the same thing in other places, as the need for MK care arises. God’s timing is perfect, as this ministry discovery process coincides with our annual MK Caregiver Conference April 5-9. That will be the perfect opportunity to network and brainstorm, and I am sure God will provide some specific direction for me there!

When God brings me to mind, please be sure to thank Him first for everything He’s been doing for me!

• His loving provision of time for me to rest and recoup
• His comfort in times of sadness
• His care for the rest of the family, which frees me up to serve Him here
• His provision of training and experience for me to do this ministry
• His clear guidance
• The opportunity to be His partner as He moves forward His plan for His church

The things I would ask of God are:

• Continued clear direction
• Courage & strength to do His will
• That my ministry will consist only of letting others get a clear look of Him reflected off of me

"La profesora Karen" prepares her lesson

One of my most vivid memories from my years at Philadelphia Biblical University is Ken Medema’s convicting song, “Moses.” The Chorale performed it multiple times over two years, and Ken Medema himself performed it for us in concert. The first time I heard it, I was fascinated by the way the music explains the words: the basso profundo tone of God’s comands, the scaredy-cat complaints of Moses, the gorgeous harmony of angels singing. Did I mention convicting? Never once did I sing it without God speaking directly to me. After all these year, it is apparently still burned into my brain, because recently I can’t get it out of my mind.

Back in Costa Rica after our extended home assignment, I have been praying that God would give me clear direction about new ministries, and give me the courage to respond with cheerful obedience. Just a friendly warning, both are dangerous prayers!

February 9, 2011. I am sitting in the office of the women’s ministry leader at ESEPA, expecting to be invited to direct short sharing sessions in small groups at several upcoming workshops. The vast majority of my ministry in CR has been in English, with missionary families. I feel totally inadequate to minister in Spanish, especially as a representative of the seminary…

But God.

How often has that tiny phrase transformed my life?! As I sit here watching, it happens again.

I begin the meeting certain that God wants me to agree to do the small groups, but I still think it’s a huge stretch for me. Then, to my horror, I realize that God’s plan is so much bigger than anything I could have imagined! In my head I hear the words from “Moses” repeating over and over again: “Not me Lord, I don’t talk so good…Take my brother Aaron, he can sing like an angel, talk like a preacher. Not me Lord!” (I do not miss the irony here: Moses was worried about speaking in whatever it was Moses spoke, and I’m worried about speaking in Spanish!) Meanwhile, like watching an avalanche in slow motion and being powerless to do anything to stop it, I watch God spend the rest of the meeting making it abundantly clear that I will now be teaching at Seminario ESEPA! I am signed up to write and teach half of the courses in our (did you catch that “our”, not “their”?) brand-new Certificate of Women’s Ministries program, as well as be on call for other women’s ministries.

I am struck dumb; what can you say when the Creator makes His will totally plain? He kindly reminds me that I did ask Him to be clear about His direction. For example, one of the courses I was asked to teach is Bible Study methods. I’ve taken this course twice at the college level and once at the master’s level, and I’m married to a professor who has taught it at the master’s level. About the only way this could get clearer is to find myself on the business end of a lightning bolt!

After the meeting, when I calm down a little, I am struck by an astonishing “coincidence”. In 1997, when we shared our vision for Gary’s future ministry here, we talked about churches whose pastor was not trained, but was named the leader only because he’d been a Christian a little longer than the others. Our hearts ached to come alongside these people, and train them how to study God’s Word and be godly leaders. I have just heard very similar stories of women in 2011 who are burdened to begin women’s ministries in their churches and communities, but have no training or experience, and come to ESEPA desperate for help. 15 years ago I could not foresee that that ache of my heart would be transformed into a desire to come alongside these women myself, and train them how to study God’s Word and be godly leaders.

But God knew.

So, after all these years of ministry experience (if you count playing the piano for Prayer Meeting we’re up to 37), I am still learning to trust God to do His work in spite of me. Yes, it’s high time I reviewed my Spanish grammar and vocabulary, and it looks like I’ll be studying adult education methods (fortunately, I’m married to a professor!). I plan to be as prepared as possible for this new and challenging ministry, but I’m trusting that God will do His work in the hearts and minds of the women of Costa Rica, and prepare them to serve their sisters in His Church.

NOTE: to see Karen do some teaching in Spanish, click here!     

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKi1BqNyVEINewsletter